This month I have been thinking about acceptance. Acceptance is one of the gateways to the heart. It’s the passport to freedom. Only when you accept yourself and the moment just as it is in all of its beauty and chaos can you rest easefully in your heart.
I’m not talking about the everyday variety of acceptance. I’m talking about deep, rich, pure acceptance, which always brings you back to the moment and back to your heart.
In pure acceptance, you are able to let go of regret and disappointment. Hidden within acceptance is forgiveness. Forgiveness is necessary to be able accept fully. Real forgiveness is the capacity to forgive the unforgivable. Until you reach this level of forgiveness you live under the burden of resentment. Pure forgiveness releases the burden from you and fills you with ease, spaciousness, and freedom.
But it’s not always possible to forgive right away. Forgiveness takes time to integrate. If you’re not able to forgive right away, can you be okay with that? Forgiveness comes in stages. Unless you’ve integrated and dealt with the judgment, anger, resentment, and betrayal that underlies the inability to forgive, you will have premature forgiveness. Honor yourself. Accept yourself for the time it takes to integrate and move through the steps necessary to reach full forgiveness. Create healthy self-boundaries. But be clear of the difference between setting appropriate healthy boundaries and pure forgiveness. Can you set the boundary and also forgive fully? This is the work of acceptance.
There are two kinds of acceptance. Passive acceptance and active acceptance. Passive acceptance is mixed with apathy and complacency. Often you accept the situation but you do nothing about it. Usually in this type of acceptance, you have […]