I am so very excited about the launch of our new site! This day represents the culmination of a deep internal transformation that began with the Anusara scandal last February. Through a long process of facing, feeling, recognizing, and accepting the loss of a teacher and community I once cherished, I have come full circle through an incredible process of allowing myself to redefine myself, my yoga, my mission and purpose in life, and all of my relationships. Like a caterpillar going into the chrysalis, I have gone within to such a degree that I have transformed my being into something unrecognizable to me, my unique and authentic self, the result of which I probably will not fully realize for some time. This poem sums it up for me:
“Called beyond the confines of this
chrysalis by a force I cannot see
or name, I am compelled by pain
and something bigger than myself
to leave the protection of all that I
have known. There is struggle, doubt,
an awkward setting forth. Finally I
break free of the cocoon and find
myself surrounded by air and light.
I dare to act, still not knowing what
I am; instinct, or maybe faith bids me
move forward, make the leap, explore
this mystery of change and flight.
I find myself with wings that dwarf
my former world. Unfurled, they dry
quickly in the sun. I, who expected
to spend my days crawling, now
teach myself to soar. Such a rush
of wind and freedom â€“ that first
flight teaches me more than I had
learned in a lifetime of crawling.”
by Danna Faulds, Go In and In
My process of transformation was, and continues to be, profound and I am so grateful to all of you for your patience and support during this metamorphosis. I’m also extremely grateful to all of my teachers throughout my 33 years of yoga study and practice who’ve given me the inspiration and inner strength to stand strong in the face of challenge. I’m grateful to my wife, Ann, for standing by my side even as she is deep within her own transformative process. And lastly, I am grateful to myself, for not leaving me and not judging me, but rather, using every moment to examine my part in the creation of the events that led to my awakening and support me in moving forward with steadiness, sensitivity, and dedication, while taking all of the lessons from the past with me. I have proven to myself that my heart is spacious enough to hold it all (good and bad, light and dark) and still lean into my heart’s deepest longing and deepest vision of Shri â€“ that life is abundant, the universe has my back, and the evolutionary path of consciousness always seeks to guide me back home to my heart.
The journey has not been easy, but it has been the most inwardly rewarding period of my life. I feel now a wellspring of vital energy surging within my belly and heart. I have witnessed it pour out as I teach and have received many comments from students that something has deepened. I’ve been told there is no longer a kind of subtle holding back my love and knowledge. Now there’s nothing standing in the way of my heart and the students.
Since the beginning of my teaching journey, my intention has been to bring forth my authentic self in my own unique way, as best I can, to support others to come into their heart to heal, love, and serve others, thereby, evolving the consciousness on the planet. But I’ve always operated under the protection of a larger organizational “umbrella”. First it was Kripalu for over 17 years, followed by Anusara for over 15 years. In the chrysalis metaphor, I recognize now that these structures were like the cocoon or chrysalis I needed to feel safe and nourished. Once I reached a certain level of competence and maturity within the community, I found myself pushing against it, trying to spread my wings, but couldn’t. I felt afraid to take flight for fear that I might fail.
I recognize now that the boundaries I felt were exactly what I needed to make my wings strong and ready for a solo flight. The last 11 months were the most challenging, most intense, and therefore, most transformational and strengthening months of my journey to date â€“ from losing a teacher and community, to losing close friends, to sorting through my fears, to redefining and clarifying my mission on the planet, to then creating my yoga, the training structures, and finally the website. I am in awe at seeing the perfection, synchronization, and orchestration of the universe. Paradoxically, in my confidence of spreading my own wings, I feel naturally drawn to collaborate more with others.
Everything in life is for my awakening. I’ve known this teaching for a long time, but I am amazed that it has come around again and has taken me deeper into my heart.
I hope you will join me in using everything in your life to awaken your soul. As I’ve learned from Dr. Douglas Brooks, tantric scholar and long time dear friend and teacher, we are already awake. We come to know this through the 3 R’s: Reflection, Recognition, and Revelation. First you have to go within and develop your capacity to see yourself without judgment, to reflect on yourself, your feelings, reactions, emotions, beliefs, and insights. This is the field in which recognition emerges. Once you recognize what is true for you, what is real for you, then revelation happens. In revelation, grace descends, life heals and becomes clear again, light returns, joy returns, peace and relaxation returns, and wisdom returns.
It’s from this place that I humbly offer myself to each of you in service to the one spirit that unites us all.