How to Have a Happy Summer – No Matter What: Living with Wonder and Awe

What’s the best way to have a happy summer? Easy. Just open to a bigger energy and let go of your expectations! But how do you have a happy summer after you crash into a bear on your bike and break your pelvis and two ribs? Here’s what I discovered...

The answer is the same but with the addition of one key feature – Adbhuta, the Rasa (taste or flavor) of wonder and awe. To live with wonder and awe is to live in the present moment untouched by expectations or the desire for something different than what is happening now. To do this, you have to coax your mind into being curious. When you’re curious, you’re in a state of wonder. You don’t have any answers. Answer are endings. You savor just being in the question. Curiosity opens your senses and makes you aware of the tiniest little movements or changes in sights, sounds, smells, tastes, or touch.

For me, right now, the hardest part of trying to have a happy summer is releasing my expectations around biking. Every summer, up until this one, I’ve enjoyed working out on my bicycle 2-3 times a week. Traversing the rolling hills of the Berkshires, speeding past beautiful farms, mountains, and green valleys, has been one of the main features of how I enjoy my summers. But since I can’t ride at the moment, I’ve been perplexed about how to find the happiness cycling has always brought me and how now to use my time. Suddenly I have a lot of it!

Hallie, my partner, has been very helpful in this quest, since she and I complement each other nicely. I enjoy strenuous exercise sometimes to a fault. She loves to work out but also enjoys pausing and savoring the moment which is very balancing for me. This has led me to some insights around what keeps me from my deepest happiness.

The key obstacle to my happiness is “expectation.” Expectation is a subtle form of thinking that projects an image of reality based on what you would like to happen over what actually is happening.

The expectation is like a prediction about reality, formed from wishes and hopes. In truth, it just clutters the field of what is. Expectations shield us from being in the raw, out of control moment. In Rasa Theory, however, entering that raw present moment is necessary in order to find joy. 

Wonder or Adbhuta is one of the best ways to enter the now.

This now moment is pure, raw, and unaltered by expectations, wishes, or desires. It’s the pure experience of what is happening now in reality. Happiness lies beneath the script of expectation. It’s the experience of the unveiled moment of pure reality. I believe that expectation arises out of a deeper fear of losing control. We can’t handle the uncertainty or insecurity of not knowing, so we fabricate an expectation that blankets the present moment. Perhaps this fabrication keeps us safe. But it also functions like a mirage or a false promise of safety. True happiness is experienced on the other side of fear.

As I’ve been forced to let go of my expectation of biking, I’ve had the good fortune of tuning more into the experience of wonder. One beautiful Sunday afternoon, Hallie and I decided to go to the movies to watch the new Superman movie. I never would have thought of taking a fine Sunday afternoon to do something like this. But given my current limited capacity to move, it was the best choice.

What happened to me next was amazing. First of all, you need to understand that I haven’t gone into a movie theatre for at least a decade or more and I was unaware of how much fun it was going to be. Hallie tried to explain that the seats are reserved, they’re really comfortable, and they recline! When we entered the theatre and found our seats, I was in a state of wonder. Like a little kid, I took total delight in sitting in the comfy chair. Then Hallie showed me how to recline the seat and instantly my legs went up. I broke out into hysterical laughter. I kept going back and forth in the seat like a 5 year old kid. I was having the time of my life! 

Ever since the accident, I’ve had edema in my feet and legs. This is a common occurrence in hip injuries as gravity pulls the inflammation down to the feet. So I was needing to elevate my feet to support the swelling to reverse its course. But having two broken ribs, I’ve not been able to lie flat on my back, and I hadn’t been able to get my feet above my heart. The recliner chair made this possible and for the first time since the accident, I had my feet up and I was in a very healing position for my feet and legs.

Halfway through the movie I started to feel cold. The AC in the movie theatre was intense and even though I brought an extra layer of clothes, I was still cold. Hallie pointed to the heater button on the side of the chair. I burst into laughter again at the wonder and awe of heating up my seat! You might be thinking, “Man, he’s really been living in the dark ages.” I do have seat heaters in my car. So I’ve experienced them before. Just not in a movie theatre. I thought to myself, “Wow somebody really thought out how to deliver an excellent viewing experience!”

In addition to the wonder and awe of my theatre seat, I loved the underlying message of the movie itself, which brought me to tears at the end. Holding a vision of goodness, love, respect for all beings, and kindness is something that resonates deep within my heart and within the yogic teachings I align with. This vision is so needed especially today, at such a precarious time in our world.

I am healing well and hope to be back on my bike soon. Yet, I have to admit that through the experience of wonder and awe, along with the release of my expectations, I’ve been having a wonderful summer! I believe we can all find our hidden happiness within. We simply need to get good at finding what blocks our happiness. Seeking to find the blockage almost always will lead to the realization that we’re holding an expectation of how we want something to go. When we can identify what the expectation is, we have a good chance at letting it go. And once we’re free of expectations, the wonder and awe of the present moment will arise immediately. I encourage you to try it.

Whatever your current reality, may you release expectations and return to your heart in the state of wonder and awe.

There you’ll find your true happiness, already present and waiting for you to claim it, experience it, and savor it. Regardless of your external reality which you can’t always control, happiness is possible. May you take the time to enjoy your joy. 

Namaste,

Todd

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