Spring Forward with Confidence: What Do You Appreciate About Yourself?

Happy Spring! After a long winter, I’m ready for warmth, sunlight, and color — and for a renewed practice of confidence. Confidence is a spiritual practice. Rooted in self-trust and presence, it transforms doubt, anxiety, and shame into steady, compassionate action. Shame tells us we are broken; spiritual confidence reminds us we are perfectly imperfect — whole and evolving. Tantra teaches that wholeness is our starting place; confidence helps us live from it.

Recently I had an experience where my confidence about who I am was challenged. I had a meeting with a colleague who gave me some unsolicited feedback. I was caught off guard and felt hurt by his comments. He was quick to own what he said as his perception and he apologized. This opened us up to a much deeper conversation, which was both productive and meaningful.

Yet I walked away from that meeting with lead in my heart.  I felt like a failure, which brought up a feeling of lack, which then triggered my samskaras (imprints from the past) of unworthiness, doubt, and even shame. These are not easy feelings for me to be with, and I am usually quick to release them. But this time, they didn’t just go away. So, I decided to invite them to be present. I took a few deep breaths. I listened. As I listened to what was deep inside of me, I began to weep. 

Then all of a sudden, I had an insight. My tears weren’t tears of fear or shame; they were tears of insight, hope, revelation, and possibility. Like a spear of light, the word confidence arose from deep within me. 

One definition of confidence that I love is this: confidence is a feeling of self-assuredness that arises from one’s appreciation of one’s own abilities or qualities. It’s the feeling of being assured by focusing on what you CAN do, not what you can’t do.

When I focus on the things I can’t do that well, or if I compare myself to someone who does them better, I tend to put myself down. I recognized this as self-shame. This negative focus also brings up shameful memories of how some of my teachers and primary caregivers treated me. Intentionally or unintentionally, some of the people I held in authoritative roles, failed to communicate to me my wholeness, my perfect imperfection, and the value of my unique individuality.

In contrast, when I’m able to focus on the things I do well, things that come naturally to me, or things that, after many years or decades of hard work, I’ve gained some kind of proficiency doing, then I feel at ease. My confidence returns. But as soon as I step outside of myself into comparisons with others again, or get down on myself with criticism or harshness, I feel bad. Shame enters the picture and my confidence plummets, leaving me worried, anxious, and stressed.

Self-assuredness, like meditation, takes you into the quiet place within.

In meditation, when you simply focus on what is, without racing ahead, without comparing yourself to anyone else, confidence arises because you accept yourself just as you are.

Similarly, self-assuredness invites the confidence which allows you to recognize that you are already whole and complete, that you are uniquely talented, and that you are the divine manifested in flesh in the form of you. And THAT you is enough.

In my moment of insight, I slowed down and came back to myself and what I do well. I sighed a breath of relief. I felt an easeful connection to myself. Acceptance, compassion, understanding, and gratitude began to flow.

I do know that I can always improve and I’m always getting better. But why focus on not being enough? Why focus on our imperfections and flaws? 

I believe that self-improvement should be fun, exciting, and motivating. Life should feel good, maybe not all of the time, but most of the time. Otherwise, perhaps we’re living in our heads too much where we get stuck in the quicksand of shame and not being good enough.

For years I focused on what I couldn’t do — not the fastest swimmer, not as flexible as before — and that habit fed worry and comparison. When I shift attention to what I can do (a strong yoga practice, a loving partnership, emotional honesty, ability to listen, chanting, teaching), something effortless opens up. Confidence isn’t force; it’s ease. It brings calm, spaciousness, and a return to the heart. If you’ve lost a little bit of your confidence for any reason, I invite you to do some journal writing on these simple prompts:

1. What do you appreciate about yourself?

2. What do you love about yourself?

Answering these prompts anchors you in your heart — where you are enough, already divine.

If you want a place to refine your spiritual practice of confidence, join the Ashaya Yoga Membership. Twice weekly we meditate, chant, breathe, and move — not to prove, but to reveal the confident heart beneath comparison. It’s a community that teaches presence, steadiness, and the quiet courage to be seen. May you step into spring with soft resolve and the peace of being enough.

Namaste,

Todd