Living Tantra in Tumultuous Times: The Shift from Toleration to Transformation

We live in stressful times. It’s easy to forget that living a yogic lifestyle means confronting our challenges and recognizing that life is an ongoing journey—we’re never done transforming.

When we become overwhelmed by stress, it’s tempting to escape: drinking, drugs, overworking, endless activity, losing ourselves in screens, or simply falling into a rut of toleration. None of these things is inherently bad. But when distraction becomes a way of avoiding what we really feel, eventually our suppressed emotions catch up with us.

This is one of the great teachings of Tantra: life is happening for us, not to us.

A certain amount of tolerance is necessary. We learn to tolerate the annoying habits of our loved ones, partners, and co-workers. We learn to accept our own imperfections and limitations. But tolerance can also become resignation. We tell ourselves, this is just the way it is. I can't change it. I'll learn to live with it.

And slowly, without realizing it, we stop growing.

So perhaps the question we need to ask ourselves is: Am I merely tolerating my life, or am I living fully?

Living fully means being willing to feel everything. In Tantra, life happens in our emotions, our feelings, and in the spaces between them. We are the Rasikas—the tasters of life—willing to experience the fullness of our embodied existence. 

After 46 years of teaching and helping thousands of seekers find their center in the heart, I’ve come to believe that one of the things we need most is greater emotional agility: the ability to feel what we feel, move through it, and discover what is waiting for us on the other side.

Where Am I Tolerating My Life?

This month in the membership, we’ll explore the subtle ways we may have resigned ourselves to less than what is possible. We may not think we’ve given up, but when we look deeply, we may discover places where we are tolerating something that drains our energy, compromises our integrity, or keeps us from becoming who we truly are.

Yoga is the recognition that transformation is always happening. Shiva represents this constant movement of consciousness. Brahma creates. Vishnu sustains. But sometimes we get too comfortable in Vishnu—we maintain what we have and stop growing. Living Tantra asks us to shine the light of consciousness on every aspect of our lives and become radically honest with ourselves.

Living in truth is living in power. Living in power is living in freedom. Freedom is the essence of Tantra.

I must admit that lately I’ve been looking at this in my own life. There are days when I coast in my sadhana. I rest in what I already know I can do. And there’s nothing wrong with that. Sometimes we need to rest and go with the flow. But recently I’ve realized that I’ve been tolerating a certain level of mediocrity—not slacking off, exactly, but not pushing forward with the same fire I had in my 20s, 30s, and 40s. Maybe that’s simply part of being in a later season of life. Eventually, we all have to slow down.

But I don’t feel ready to slow down yet. I still have some kick left in me!

That burning flame of transformation is still alive in me. I think it’s in my DNA. So, I’ve been paying attention. I’m listening more deeply to other people, looking for the gold rather than judging or writing them off. I’m listening more carefully to my body when it comes to sadhana, exercise, and diet, finding that edge where I’m neither pushing too hard nor holding myself back.

And I’ve decided to do something completely new. I’m planning a Yoga Vacation Retreat in the Azores for October 24–29, 2027. The idea immediately excited me. It felt like I had pushed through a layer of complacency—doing something new instead of simply doing what I’ve always done. A yoga vacation is an adventure. It’s an opportunity to open to grace, let go of control, trust the universe, immerse myself in nature, and experience something I’ve never experienced before. I hope you’ll join me. More information will be coming in the next few weeks.

My 92-Year-Old Mother

And then my 92-year-old mother gave me another beautiful lesson in transformation. She recently told me that she and a male friend have decided to take a cruise off the coast of Mexico. My first reaction was excitement—and then, admittedly, a little paranoia. My mom uses a walker, and I immediately started wondering whether she had thought through all the logistics! But underneath my concern, I felt something much more powerful: I was thrilled for her.

At 92, she wants to challenge herself to do something she’s never done before. Whether she actually goes on the cruise or not, I’ve noticed a shift in her energy. She’s more vibrant. Her voice is upbeat. She’s excited about something. That’s what happens when we step outside the familiar. Something comes alive.

What Are You Ready to Change?

So, I invite you to look honestly at your own life this month. Where might you be tolerating something that drains your energy? Where have you become complacent? What have you stopped challenging yourself to do because some part of you says, I’m too old. I’m too weak. I’m too shy. I’m not fit enough. I don’t have enough experience. I’ll fail. They won’t accept me.

What if those are simply old stories? What if there is more life available to you? 

You don’t have to blow up your life or force yourself into something overwhelming. Sometimes transformation begins with one small, courageous choice. Do something different. Listen more deeply. Take a risk. Try something new. Follow the spark of excitement. Challenge yourself without stressing yourself. Wake yourself up. This is the path of Tantra—not escaping life but meeting it fully. Not settling for toleration but choosing transformation.

Are you ready to stop merely tolerating your life? If so, I invite you to join me in the Ashaya Online Membership. You don’t have to figure it all out alone. A regular practice, a supportive community, and the commitment to keep showing up can become the container that helps you live more fully—with greater energy, emotional resilience, integrity, and joy.

Try it for 14 days for $14.

Come practice with me. Come challenge yourself. Come discover what becomes possible when you stop merely tolerating your life and begin transforming it.

The question isn’t whether you can change.

The question is: What are you ready to change?

Namaste,

Todd